May

1. The blackberry died today.
2. I had to buy a new phone and I did and saw a lot of messages saved in my sim that are about mundane things we texted each other before, "matutulog na ako", "nasa studio na ako", "nakakainis yung tindera", "timplahan mo ako ng milk ha." "mahal kita."
3. I can't sleep. 
4. I have a very early meeting tomorrow but I can't sleep. 
5. I bought a new guitar. 
6. I'm going to learn to play drums next month.
7. I'm hiring a tutor.
8. I try to jog every wednesday, play music every Thursday and catch up with friends every Friday.
9. We broke up.
10.  I had to break it up. 
11. It was a clear mistake from the beginning.
12. Another heart broken. 
13. How are you?
14. I'm going to learn to skateboard next month. 
15. Work is stressful.
16.  I now have a pet plant and its name is halamanaikum. 
17. I have to water it now.
18. Hold on. 
19. There you go.
20. I'm back. 
21. I bought my first pair of converse sneakers. 
22. I remembered you when I bought them.
23. I wonder if you have been buying essential stuff lately like shoes and clothes?
24. Are you still using the ones I gave you?
25. I didn't miss it nor forgot about it. 
26. I was just so scared to think about it because I don't want my heart broken again.
27. Because I still love you. 

the day before Valentine's

Today, February 13th...

I won't say what and I won't say who.
But if you're reading this, you'll know it's you.

...I remember.

Crisley

Naka-red orange na striped tshirt at shorts. Nasa kwarto ni Erson. May konting luha sa mata. Nakaupo. Phone ang gamit sa pagsulat ng blog na ito.

Gusto ko sanang ma-picture mo kung ano itsura ko ngayon para madali mong maimagine na sinasabi ko to sayo personally. May malaking possibility na hindi ko na to masasabi ng diretso sayo.

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One day, that day we have been praying for to happen, we'll wake up not having romantic feelings for each other anymore. Sana dumating na yun...not because I'm still hurt but because I honestly think that while we still love each other even for a tiny bit, there will always be pain even if forgiveness has already been granted.

I hope that on that day, when we feel love, it'll not anymore be romantic but a love that is shared because we happen to share the same feelings for some people. You love my nephew and God knows how tita ana and lola ingga weigh in my heart. God knows how much i adore avi and ben.

For as long as I still love you, I can never afford to risk seeing you. My heart will never be able to handle saying hello to you and risk another goodbye. And because of this, I know I can't see lola ingga or tita ana. I know that I have to wait for that day when I can already smile at you. Only then can I see them again.

I hope that day comes when you get to hug chaste infront of me. I hope soon, the next time he sees you in Eastwood, I won't have to make excuses why he can't say hi to you. I hope then I won't feel bad anymore when he asks me about you.

I hope we get to un-love so we get to love  each other again...maybe not romantically but because we love the same people.

And when that day comes, I hope we sing a song. You drums. Me guitars. Both of us singing. Just because I think friends should sing together at least once in their life.

Happy New Year Crisley.



p.s. Have I ever told you that I think you have a lovely singing voice? Well you do